I have observed that there are two ways of thinking. You can choose a positive way of thinking and remain optimistic about things or you can let yourself be more guarded and take the pessimistic route. I think it will come as no surprise that i am the former and i hope it is evident from my social media pages that i try my best to remain proactive and productive in everything i do. But what happens when a positive, optimist such as myself is faced with overwhelming amounts of pessimism and negativity? No-one is infallible and so the answer is we struggle and do our best to over come it, fighting any urges to give up.
Things like this are a natural reaction, especially when faced with hardships such as ill health, domestic or mental health issues but i think we can all agree it is at these moments in life where we really do need to fight to keep our minds positive for our own well being. It’s not easy, in fact it is quite the opposite but it’s worth it and that’s the main point.
As you know i do not wish to use this blog as a way to air any ‘dirty laundry’. Some times though, i may draw on aspects personal experiences as that is how we all learn and it can potentially be comforting to another person to see how everyone have doubts and ‘wobbles’.
I have recently gone through some of the hardest months of my adult life where i have felt the need to fight to stay positive to keep myself focused and motivated but i feel i am getting there, in my own way. To those looking on the outside i am apparently ‘inspirational’, ‘a hero’ , ‘incredibly brave and strong’. I am ‘amazing’ and ‘doing the right thing’. The things is, although i am very humbled by these compliments i struggle to feel they are all justified. I certainly am no hero and i have been a crumbling mess rather than having the strength and bravery everyone keeps mentioning but i can see the progress i have made and these are areas i am proud of. Especially where my daughter is concerned, her development and well being have rocketed in the last few weeks and that is the best reward i could have asked for.
It is never easy to come to terms with hardships, what ever they may be. When you are in the thick of it all, it can almost be like your self defences have desensitised you from the full extent of the situation to protect you from further harm. I think this may be why people struggle to accept help or charity because you genuinely feel things are ‘not that bad’, when they actually are. The best thing i did was to ask for help and to talk to people and ask questions.
It is important to remember help does not just fall at your feet when you need it. Most of the time you need to seek it out and find it for yourself. I would not advise expecting or presuming you are owed anything because of your situation but it is always worth asking and surrounding yourself with the love and comfort it brings. Opening up to friends gives new perspectives on the situation and their continued support will keep you strong and focused. Speaking to charities and support networks can help organise the ever growing to do lists and help reassure any worries or questions may have. Speaking to local authorities and organisations openly can also introduce you to support or benefits you were not aware of. Asking for help IS worth it and accepting their help really can help change your stars just be honest and appreciate the help offered.
I guess one of the benefits of being an optimist is the fact that you have a natural drive to be proactive and motivated. When you let yourself be governed with a pessimistic attitude you tend not to even bother trying as it seems pointless to try just to fail, even when there is still hope of success. But i do wonder if one of these types become the other? I would like to believe that there is hope for someone who is more prone to pessimism to find ways to act positively and maybe through a surge of positive experiences it may change but sadly i do think there are people who are so engorged with negative attitudes that it is their only way of thinking and there is no changing this. My advice would be that if you are a more proactive, optimistic and positive soul, make sure you surround yourself with like minded people if you wish to thrive. Optimistic people will find that having a large circle of pessimistic support will be draining and in time start to alter your own outlook. You may start to feel lethargic, complacent and as if you are losing yourself and even (dependant on the situation) lose of your self worth. So surrounding yourself with optimistic people though will motivate and inspire you.
I guess ultimately what i am trying to say is if you are an optamist dealing with pessimistic attitudes; believe in yourself, embrace your optamism & positive motivation & Don’t let the buggers drive you down! Just keep going and dare to hope things will improve for the best.