Giving to charity is a very positive thing and people who do get involved are well thought of and praised for their time and/or money. Charity in general is a good thing as it helps so many people in so many different ways. Thousands of pounds are raised, donated or collect for them a year because we know it is a great thing to do, to support other people who support others. So why is it when we, ourselves are in need of the type of help one of our many charities offer we feel it is shameful to accept that help?
As you may have seen from my past posts that life has not been easy for me of late but i am so determined to change this. To many people, myself included will stay and struggle in bad situations because they do not realise or will not accept that the help of these charities is available to them and all you need to do is ask for it. Within the last few months i have taken the first major steps to turn my life around and i would not have been able to do with without the support of not one but a number of wonderful charities. Charities like The Trussell Trust who run the food banks they help in small ways but when you literally have £3 to buy you and your family dinner they are there with love and support, food and toiletries, a cup of tea and wifi. Yet people turn their noses up at this. It baffles me. So i wanted to write a blog post around my own experiences of being ‘a charity case’ and hopefully take away some of the stigma around accepting help.
Step One (to changing your stars) : Admitting things are bad
This probably seems quite obvious and in a lot of situations it will be the people around you who notice the issues before you do. These are the people who you confide in, the people who hug you and cheer you up. These are the people notice you’re loosing weight, drinking too much, are acting out of character. These are the people you need to trust and listen too, especially if they are all pointing out the same issues as each other. Listen to them, take it on board and talk to them about it with an open mind.
Step Two: Accepting it yourself.
Again this probably seems quite obvious but for me this was one of THE hardest things to do. To psychologically come to terms with the issues i was actually going through. I could hear what my circle of friends and family were saying and i had researched it to the hilt but i was still struggling to accept it. That is until i contacted a professional help line. It oddly took a lot of courage to do it and it was one of those situations where i wrote an email and hit send before i could change my mind (i have done this a lot recently) but i am so glad i did as this was what i needed to motivate me.
STEP Three: asking for help.
You may be struggling with money or you may be in a bad domestic situation or have a medical, mental health or another issue. Whatever it is, if you are struggling alone, you do not need to. There are always people who will help you but as with anything people can not read your mind and support does not just fall into your lap. You need to make the first step and willingly ask for help. That could be anything from asking your friends or family, going to CAB or calling a helpline for support and advice. That first step will open doors to a whole new world of care and support that you probably never thought possible. So go in search of it and teach yourself how to say yes and genuinely be grateful. It is not shameful, it is brave. It is not a burden, it is kindness. Embrace it and accept that you are deserving.
Step Four: accept help and be grateful
For some reason there is this stigma within us to struggle on even when help is offered. The thing is when the chips are down, help is needed and taking what is offered is often best. Right now i am a charity case. I am not proud of that fact but i am not ashamed of it either. Without the support of these charities, organisations and friends i would NEVER have been able to move forwards. My tears have been one of overwhelming joy and the love ad support i have been shown. I can now move on, pick myself up and change my starts thanks to the combined help of so many. So learn to say yes, and be thankful for it. Give back what you can and good things will follow.
One thing i should also add is in all of this, you need to find your self motivation, you need to keep optimistic and have an open mind. Alot of the time it is these things that stop us from believing change is possible.
Stay positive, stay humble and believe in yourself.